Paper Crafts by Kathleen

When I look at my life I see paths I could have taken and how different things would be from how they are now.  I see, because of the paths I have chosen, life could have been so very different – especially if I had taken that motorcycle ride down the California Coast in my 20s.  My gut instinct was don’t go; I listened.

People come in and out of your life as time passes.  I have been fortunate to have had a privileged and happy childhood; yeah my parents divorced when I was 15 but I see now they are far happier and I am thankful for that.  I couldn’t imagine going through life being miserable because it generally makes those around you equally as miserable.

They say women tend to come into their own as they approach 40 – that and stuff starts falling apart.  I think perhaps we have no patience left for bullshit and drama and so tend to just live.  When you have kids and they are small a woman tends to lose herself in all that is related to their children; we forget to be that fun loving girl we long for.  We lose touch with our girlfriends we spent Friday and Saturday nights dancing with.  We lose touch with those days ever happening again.

I cherish my friends and will move mountains if I could for many of them.  I want them all to be happy and have fulfilled lives.  We get one go around on this solid ground before our spirits leave our bodies to dance in the breeze above; to then provide little shimmers of our former selves to those left on the ground, just enough of a shimmer to let them know you’re still there.  I plan to not only shimmer for some but down right punch a few.

I was able to meet some women I have “known” for a few years now but finally got to hug them in person this past week.  It wasn’t strange and it didn’t feel weird in fact, it felt normal.  It may have sounded strange to some that I opened my house up to people I had never physically met but for me, I knew them as I talked to them daily, several times a day in fact.  They knew my life, they paid attention and they genuinely cared and I about them.

Pamela Detlor and I have an amazing connection through our dear best friend Glamma Gregory.   When Glamma was in Toronto I thanked Pam many years ago for being there for my  friend while he was east.  I have been chatting with her for two years now daily and we are connected through art, through friends and through the pages of a book.  As I now have Glamma back on home soil and with Pam’s visit West it was my turn to finally meet the woman who stepped into my shoes 11 years ago.  I didn’t pick Pam up from the airport that was Glamma’s job but I did meet her at yoga the very next morning and it was like falling into the arms of a long lost friend.  Sheer warmth.  I told Glamma that she was truly lovely and he said “she’s you, now you see why I love her so much”.  Pam and I must have walked through a life together or something because nothing seemed uncomfortable or out of place.  We were connected and it showed in how we interacted as it was all so easy.  We talked about our lives and encouraged each other to be the best we could and not fear our fears but embrace them as we had each other to lean on.  And, in true form, when either one of us got too sentimental the other said something funny and the depth of our conversation turned to laughter.

Singer/songwriter Sara Kamin, with her contagious laugh and cheerful disposition stood on the sidewalk at the airport with her guitar beside her.  I drove up, with Pam beside me and it was like we were picking up an old friend and yet I had never physically met her before.  Sara’s eyes tell stories.  She is honest, caring and genuine.  She gave many great performances during her stay, even one in my living room to many of my good friends which was so fun.  I felt so privileged to have her with me.  I noticed when she listened to the other “acts” she truly loved them, listened intensely, hearing every word that was sung.  Never once did she try to rip any of them down or say she was better than they were even if she really was.  She was gracious and appreciative to have had the opportunity to sing with others.  She is honest and open it was refreshing.

As we traveled to Victoria we were soon joined by two more and so there was five amazing woman sharing the same space which as many know could have been dicey.  Myself, Pam, Sara, Patience and Michelle all share pages in the same book.  What I noticed most was how well we all meshed with one another.  There was no cattiness, no competition as to who was better than the next but instead there was so much laughter, talking, eating and swearing that our stomachs truly ached from all the fun.  We were five woman who just wanted to have fun, to live our lives freely and openly.  It was the best sleepover ever in my entire life!

Woman can have the tendency to be bitches with each other.  We can often be hardest and most critical of each other and that sort of behavior starts in youth as I remember it well and see it with my own daughter.  I saw what real women with hearts of gold could be like, true friends who care and want what’s truly best for each other.  We are bonded for life in the pages of a book but also through our photos, our memories, the stories of bursting through closed doors to wake some of us up to the ease of all being on the same bed in our jammies talking.

I have only once had a difficult time saying good bye to someone and that was some guy I swore I’d marry when I was 21 from Hawaii.  I cried the entire plane ride home and then some.  I was a sniveling, snot filled mess.  I started crying the night before Sara, Michelle and Pam drove off to Portland as Sara sang “Watch Me” and the emptiness was felt as I ran through the trails of Mundy Park passing moments captured on film to last a life time as they drove away with tears streaming down my face the next morning.  I truly believe if women could all work together and be happy for the accomplishments of each other we’d have so much more joy and happiness in life.  It goes back through time how women have needed each other to the degree that men just don’t understand but as women, we get it.   It takes a lot to have me miss someone but I miss them a ton already, thanks ladies and clearly more fun will be had!