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Wish

This canvas was for sale at the Anonymous Art Show this past December.  I watched as some really excited woman bought it off the wall right before my eyes.  It was pretty cool!  It was one of those canvases I created and really loved and could have kept for myself.  It sold for $100.  I was thrilled!!

I had the idea of using the image of this canvas for a journal cover but I didn’t want it to be exactly the same sooooo I decided to print it out and do a gel transfer of the image to see how it would look on a cover.  Given the word WISH is on it I had to remember to flip it so that I printed off the mirror image otherwise it would transfer backwards and that wouldn’t be good at all!  It turned out pretty good.

The peeling process began and it was actually working.

I added some paint around the final transferred image and then just to make it look just a bit different I re-printed the original dandelion picture, tore out the “wish” part and adhered it over top of the transferred image.  I added splashes of other paints and the end result…well, it’s for sale in my Etsy shop.

No Exit?

tessa yuck 079I hate letting other people use my camera.  You see, I have a thing, it’s called a little OCD and a little controlling but it’s my camera and I like my camera to be ready, perfectly empty for when I want to use it.  I use it and then immediately upload the pictures into its special folder designed just for that particular photo op reason.  There is nothing more irritating for me than uploading pictures and finding other pictures are uploading that I didn’t take let alone want on my computer or in that particular file.  Many people (husband) say to me “What does it matter, just delete them.”  He’s right, that I can delete them, but it does matter  because that’s not my way and I like things just so.  He’s learning, he now asks to use my camera and I politely say “No, use yours” and then he says “Mine’s broken.” and I say “Exactly why I don’t want you using mine.”  Sometimes though, I’ll let it happen.  Tessa is the biggest extra user of my camera.  She’s getting better at asking too.  When she does use my camera she’s extremely camera happy and I have to sift through about 200 or so shitty pictures to clear my camera BUT and I say BUT with big capital letters because every now and again, from her angle of the world she will capture a shot that makes me think.

tessa yuck 048This particular picture I kept.  Tessa was thrilled I kept a few pictures, although she wasn’t thrilled that I named her folder “Tessa’s yuck picture”, oops!  I told her I was keeping this one and she said “Oh, thanks Mom, you like that sign?”  This sign sits on our property.  I told her it wasn’t the sign in particular that I liked but what the sign said and the way, from her angle, she captured the sky along with the sign.  She asked if I was thinking of making a book with it and I said yes.  She couldn’t quite figure out why so I told her.  Many people feel trapped inside themselves as if they have “No Exit”.  When people keep a journal it’s as if they have an exit.  Tessa liked the idea and thought I was brilliant.  I then took my idea and bantered it back and forth with Linda Woods and thought she was brilliant with her suggestions.  She gave me permission to “steal” her suggestion for the words on it.

No Exit journal When I was creating this journal, I was going to make the ground green or brown with paint until I remembered I had paper with handwriting all over it and thought, what’s stopping me from making the ground handwriting?  Well, as I learned from my two favorite books I could make the ground whatever the hell I wanted so I stepped outside the box and tried it.  I just love the result and it’s now available in my Etsy shop.

No Exit

Why Run…

As I sit here my legs feel great.  Once standing though, my muscles and toenails are quick to remind me of my accomplishments on Sunday.  I ran my fifth half marathon ever on Sunday.  I have all the medals to prove it and my kids once again asked if I won the race when they saw me walk in with my medal around my neck.  I often wonder why I leave it around my neck but I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m too damn tired to remove it after they get it on.  I often wonder too, why I continue to do this to myself because, for me, a half marathon is not something I’m really good at.Heading to the finish

I run to feel alive.  It is my own personal time to reflect, a therapy of sorts as I’ve learned the trees do not whisper my thoughts.  On my run this morning, which I’ll add wasn’t pleasant because my legs felt like lead, I got thinking about why I keep signing myself up for what seems like a personal failure each time.  You see, I know I can do better, I train with better times, I generally run faster on my own but get me in that “race” setting and I tank.  This morning was gorgeous and where I run is next to perfect, a trail amongst the most gorgeous trees and wild berries and I thought back to when it all began.

I started running about four years ago on my treadmill.  I had to take off that extra baby weight as I couldn’t stand being in my own skin as I just didn’t feel like me any more.  I always wished I could run, I’d see runners and think “damn I wish I was them” and I tried a few times that Learn to Run program without any success.  I could never get past running for a solid five minutes and gave up.  I don’t know what changed, perhaps it was simply the right time for me to start but this time it worked.  I continued to run on my treadmill and walk when needed.  Before I knew it my running outlasted my walking until I was solidly running.  God it felt good.  I was starting to feel “me” brewing inside again.  Having kids can take a toll on a woman as we tend to solely focus on being a mom and forget that feisty girl we once were.  That feisty girl…well she wanted out and was mak’n a comeback.  My goal was the Vancouver Sun Run which is a 10k and I never thought I would run that far without stopping but I did.  I remember trying not to cry as the finish line approached.  I did a few more 10ks after that, was training more, a little personal coaching from Leah always helps too and before I knew it I was signing up for a Half Marathon Clinic.  I remember running that 1/2 marathon with my friend Karen and thinking I was going to seriously die at about the 5k mark and, by the time I hit about 17k I was seriously questioning my sanity, but I finished it.  Bill and the kids were there as well as my Dad and I remembering hugging him after and just bawling.  This former gymnast, who’s longest run was a short, powerful sprint to the beatboard had just run 21.1k and is still standing.  My left wrist is tattooed to commemorate that personal achievement.  I look at it and I’m reminded of being able to do something I never thought I’d do.

Running JournalI am not built for speed when it comes to endurance.  I can run rather quick for about 100-200m at best but distance, for me, is a challenge.  I continue to struggle and yet what got me this morning is why do I keep signing up for this distance of race.  It dawned on me… four years ago while running that first 10k, I hit that 5 k marker and thought, “yikes, this sucks”.  Sunday it took me until about 13k to really think it sucks and question my sanity.  As Oprah would say, “I had an A-ha moment”.  I improved, I have gotten better, that 5k marker is no longer my stopping point.  My parents didn’t raise a girl to shy away from a challenge.  In fact, my Mother always encouraged my inner strength to persevere and succeed.  My Dad, taught me all around sports and because of that I can throw a football better than most chicks.  I thrive on a challenge. I know this “racing” challenge will be conquered and that 2 hr mark will be mine. Once I made this realization I knew I was signing up for yet another kick at the can but… not until maybe February.

To Patricia who gave up her personal time goals to run with me, thank you.  It meant the world to me that we ran this one together.  To Leah, you are always a personal inspiration to keep running.  You continue to challenge me and not let me be defeated.  Running is not for everyone but it can be as I learned.  If you want something bad enough, just go after it.Running with Clouds

Two Most Asked Questions

There are two things people assume about me.  One is that I scrapbook and two I journal.  I do neither.  Once I say that, people generally give me that look, like I have a square head or something and say, “well, why do you make them then?”, by “them” I assume they mean my books.  Ahhhh I make them just because I can and I love it.Supplies

I started this adventure making cards.  The first ones are funny to look at now because I’ve come along way.  Every October (up until this past October) I start making my Christmas cards.  Everyone needed a homemade Christmas card, 50 of them were made and mailed, and I felt great.  Well, as I learned not everyone appreciates your handmade efforts, some people were extremely gracious and phoned me, complimented me and told me they thought they were the best cards ever and will frame it for next year’s mantel.  Others, not a word and boy did that ever piss me off.  You see, I put a lot of time into those cards and they were made by me so really, you’d think a thank you for your efforts would be flowing freely.  Nope, not so I learned.  So, that number of cards has dwindled to about 10 or 11 lucky folk that get my One of two bins of scrapbook papermasterpieces.

I moved on from cards to books by accident really.  I saw a pre-bound blank notebook and thought it needed to be funked up.  Leah was doing some writing and I thought I would make it for her.  I did but I needed something to make those ‘binding’ holes and I didn’t have it.  I figured there must be something on the market and went on a quest to find such product.  In the meantime, I carefully used Bill’s drimmel or whatever that thing was.  It worked but I had to be exact and the holes couldn’t fray cause these types of things bother me.  A found a new little store about 5 minutes from my house.  Cherish the Thought opened in Port Moody and I didn’t really realize I was in a scrapbook store at first.  I saw the supplies but it was different.  Jessie, the owner was so friendly and amazing I “got” her right away.  I told her of my quest and low and behold she had a Bind it All machine she had just picked up at a trade show.  Well, I didn’t care how much that damn thing was I bought it.  She even showed me how to use it and, when she realized after I left she had forgot to put the instructions in, she made a home visit.  She feared I thought she was a stalker, I just loved that she made the extra effort.  My Bind it All and me became close friends and I went from cards to books.cozy chair where special people get so sit while I create

When people see my books they all assume I scrapbook because of the paper I use.  Anyone who knows me also knows quite often my answers to your questions are rather quick and blunt so the “no” when responding to “you must scrapbook” often is sounding a bit like disgust and shock which can make some people laugh with nervousness.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many friends who scrapbook and a good scrapbooking supplier friend (thanks Leanne) because I need and enjoy those scrapbooking products. I just don’t want to attend a crop (cause I don’t even know what it means) and I don’t know how you make those beautiful pages so perfectly that you do.  I just like to rip up that scrapbook style paper and see that white edge all tattered and torn.  I like to paint on that blank chipboard and reassemble the paper into something that doesn’t resemble a scrapbooked page.

I am always on the lookout for chipboard for my books too, because that is the base product I start with. I am fussy about my chipboard as it has to be a specific weight. I have had a couple people tell me to just use an old cereal box (a scrapbooker) and my facial expression must be sheer horror as they know I sell these books and why on earth would I sell a book made from a cereal box that I actually want peole to use for a long time.  That’s not to say you can’t make brilliant art with a cereal box because you can but don’t expect me to use them for my books.  My books represent me and if I wouldn’t buy it myself and feel good about it I won’t sell it to you.My messy table

My lack of journal keeping is also an issue to people. Why do I make journals if I don’t keep one myself?  Don’t really know why except I like the idea of keeping a journal, I see the benefits of keeping a journal but for me, I just enjoy making them for other people.  I had a woman come up to me and tell me how much she loved the food journal she bought from me last week.  She told me she use to keep track of what she ate on scrap paper and it was such a drag and now she has this beautiful book she loves using and it makes it so much easier for her.  That compliment alone is why I make my books and don’t keep a journal.  This blog can be a journal of sorts, I generally store tons of shit in my head where it is safe from the outside world.  I’m not good at sharing my thoughts as I tend to live inside my head a lot…it’s a free for all in there!  So, I will continue to not scrapbook and I won’t journal either but what I will do it strive to make unique and special books for all of you to scrapbook and journal in.

The books below are all currently available in my Etsy shop.

Azalea Daybook I Am Converse book