I’ve learned over the years that Mother’s Day is an odd day. It’s pimped out as this fantastic day that you are suppose to give your mother a break or do something nice for her because Hallmark said you should. Realistically though, most mothers have mothers and as such have to plan their own day (with their mothers) and daughters who aren’t mothers will still have to plan for their mothers because their brothers won’t think of it or just assumed the sister would take care of it because she always does. Personally, I like planning my own Mother’s Day quite like I enjoy filling my own stocking at Christmas. This way, I do what I want and I may even buy myself a wee gift or two.
I remember my first Mother’s Day as a mother. It was horrible. Tessa was just shy of one year old and was sick. I was bitchy and tired because she was sick and I had such high expectations that somehow because I was now a mother myself I would be able to do nothing because, after all, it was Mother’s Day. I was let down and learned mothers never truly get a day off, I felt really fat and had an absolutely awful hair cut. I’m pretty sure my husband wondered who I was and didn’t have a clue what he’d done wrong which was likely nothing at all but I needed to be a bitch to someone.
After almost 10 years of being a mother to beings other than a cat I have learned a few things:
I’ve learned that you don’t need to birth your own child to be a fantastic mother.
You can have a mother like influence in any child’s life that is looking for extra love.
You don’t need to like babies because that stage is sooo short but you do need to embrace that you are raising the next generation of adults.
Teaching children how to be independent starts at the beginning. So go have that shower, your baby’s crying and may go to sleep if you leave it alone due to the soothing sounds of the water and, if not, turn your music louder.
Kids need to be kids so let them wear mismatched clothes and a thousand hair clips in their hair – even if they are a boy.
If your kid pukes non- stop for the first year of its life he or she better be cute and people should understand you are a hermit and a bitch all at the same time.
When you don’t breast feed a baby it doesn’t mean you are giving him/her a shitty start.
When you try and remember what your mother would have done in a certain situation you remember what your best friend’s mom would do instead because she had a huge influence on you as well.
Kids are smarter than most people give them credit for. Be real. If they bang their heads hard enough on the pavement their heads will split open like a cantaloupe – tell them so when they bitch about how their bike helmet is so not cool.
Mother’s are human.
Mother’s are women who can love other woman and provide two moms to some children.
Mothers make mistakes.
Mother’s often forget the girl inside who went silent when she became a mom. Remember who she is, embrace her and make her come alive again. It will do your kids good to see you as a real person. They will know who you truly are.
My recommendation to all mothers, would be mothers, wannabe mothers, almost mothers, mother like aunts or just women in general do what you want at some point on Mother’s Day. Treat yourself, eat some cake or sit and read a book. Go find your best friend and have a coffee…just be.
I hate letting other people use my camera. You see, I have a thing, it’s called a little OCD and a little controlling but it’s my camera and I like my camera to be ready, perfectly empty for when I want to use it. I use it and then immediately upload the pictures into its special folder designed just for that particular photo op reason. There is nothing more irritating for me than uploading pictures and finding other pictures are uploading that I didn’t take let alone want on my computer or in that particular file. Many people (husband) say to me “What does it matter, just delete them.” He’s right, that I can delete them, but it does matter because that’s not my way and I like things just so. He’s learning, he now asks to use my camera and I politely say “No, use yours” and then he says “Mine’s broken.” and I say “Exactly why I don’t want you using mine.” Sometimes though, I’ll let it happen. Tessa is the biggest extra user of my camera. She’s getting better at asking too. When she does use my camera she’s extremely camera happy and I have to sift through about 200 or so shitty pictures to clear my camera BUT and I say BUT with big capital letters because every now and again, from her angle of the world she will capture a shot that makes me think.
This particular picture I kept. Tessa was thrilled I kept a few pictures, although she wasn’t thrilled that I named her folder “Tessa’s yuck picture”, oops! I told her I was keeping this one and she said “Oh, thanks Mom, you like that sign?” This sign sits on our property. I told her it wasn’t the sign in particular that I liked but what the sign said and the way, from her angle, she captured the sky along with the sign. She asked if I was thinking of making a book with it and I said yes. She couldn’t quite figure out why so I told her. Many people feel trapped inside themselves as if they have “No Exit”. When people keep a journal it’s as if they have an exit. Tessa liked the idea and thought I was brilliant. I then took my idea and bantered it back and forth with 
Well Matthew did stay in bed and woke the morning of his REAL birthday with a huge smile on his face anticipating what the day might bring him. I skipped my Sunday morning long run so I could be home in the morning ~ that right there tells you how much I love him ~ and I made bacon and eggs as requested. After that I had to shower to get the bacon smell out of my hair before we could depart to our surprise destination. Matthew’s face in the picture on the left is right when he found out he got to pick out his very own brand spank’n new bike!
So I may not have the next NBA star on my hands but what I do have is a neighbour who provided Matthew with a great opportunity when they recently bought their basketball hoop. It was a birthday gift for their son. We live on a corner lot so we don’t have the usual “back” yard but we have a great side yard and huge driveway. The trouble is that huge driveway is on a big hill and those balls roll fast, plus the cars are often rolling down that hill equally as fast so when the basketball net turned up on the sidewalk area right across from my kitchen window, I was thrilled. Some would say it hindered my view of their lovely garden but my thoughts on that are a little different, first I didn’t have to pay for that hoop and secondly, I can still see her garden and it has the added bonus of a free basketball hoop.
As I was going through the pictures I remembered back to when I was 9. I had just moved from Montreal, Quebec to Richmond, BC. I knew no one. I have no recollection of my 9th birthday although I know I would have had one. I have no idea who was there or what I did. I do know that year I met a friend who has been with me ever since. Beatrice and I lived on opposite ends of our street and we have spent since Grade 3 a part of each others lives. We have seen each other through much laughter, many heartbreaks and a whole lot of bad hair days. We are different and yet similar but something has kept us friends for all these years. The something is loyalty. I wonder and hope Tessa will have a friend like I did to see her through those tough high school years. We added to our circle as time went on, we picked up a boy named Keven who was just like us yet a guy. He taught me how to love beyond societies boundaries and make me so proud to be a part of him. The three of us sailed through high school together on our broomsticks of laughter and silliness. Times changed, we went our separate ways but deep down we all knew we had each other’s backs and we are connected.
